1 year ago today, I received my last chemo treatment. I didn’t know it was going to be my last, but a month later I was lying in a hospital bed wondering if I would ever make it out. The chemo was so hard on my body (for reason that I don’t think we may ever fully understand), that my doctors and I decided to drop the 6th round. So May 14th, was my 5th and final round of chemo.
I think back to a year ago, and how I felt. How exhausted I was, and how much pain I felt. I couldn’t walk to the edge of the yard without it leaving me breathless. Going to the grocery store was too much to handle and playing with my kids consisted of “I will sit here and watch”. I was angry at myself feeling so helpless. I was angry at the cancer and chemo for dragging me down and not letting me live my life to the fullest. I wondered when or IF I would ever feel like myself again.
A year ago seems like such a short time… But when I remember myself then, it seems like a lifetime ago. My energy slowly returned, my stamina is still lacking a bit, but nothing is stopping me any longer. I can do everything that I want to do. I feel better than I have felt in 3 years and I am ENJOYING every minute of it!
There are still bad days. There are still times when I wonder if the cancer has returned. There are days when I still struggle with the effects of chemo, even a year later. But there are so many more good days!
So today, being one year past chemo… Being one year out from the poison circulating through my body…. I celebrated. I went to the grocery store, I walked to the edge of he yard and beyond, I ran a bit, and I played with my children. I even took a karate class with my son. All things that I couldn’t do a year ago. All things that tell me that I am doing well and feeling great! I am still breathless at times, but its from laughter… not exhaustion. Milestones are important, because they remind you how far you have come, and I feel like I have come full-circle.
